Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
