she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
