I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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