Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
