we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
