Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
