idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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