i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
