I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
