Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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