Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
