Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
