Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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