sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
