where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
