drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
