Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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