i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
