good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
