you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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