You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let's paint friendship bongs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
