I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
