no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
