I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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