what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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