please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
