im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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