You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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