Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
