We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
