Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
