i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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