Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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