Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
