I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
