I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
