Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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