Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
