Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
