I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize