Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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