it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
