Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
