I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize