So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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