I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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