I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
