glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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