Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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