What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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