bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
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