she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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