all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
