As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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