So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
