But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
