I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
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