So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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