Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
