I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
