Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
