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it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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