we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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