I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
