Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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