And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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