this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
